We've all been there, sitting across the table from an interviewer, being asked a barrage of questions.  We've all stumbled over a question or two that take us off guard.  Who comes up with some of these questions.  More importantly, how do we answer them?  Well, I'm going to give a go at answering this complex question.  Let the games begin!

First, we'll start with the standard "What is your greatest weakness?" question.  Contestants...

Interviewer:  What would you say your greatest weakness is?
NetworkError:  Well...  That's a tough question.  I'd have to say the biggest challenge for me right now is forming answers to questions centered around exposing my greatest weakness.
Interviewer:  ...
NetworkError:  What's that look for?  Come on.  Everyone needs a good paradox now and again.
Interviewer:  We'll let you know.

Well.  That was fun.  Let's keep the momentum up and move along to "What can you contribute to our team?"  Kick it, my friend.  Kick it.

NetworkError:  ...and that's why I have red hair.  Stupid mail man.
Interviewer:  ah ha...  yeah.  So uh.  What do you think your biggest contribution to our team would be if we were to hire you?
(NOTE:  This is an unfair question...  Read on to find out why.  Also, never answer "a sense of humor."  This is not looked upon favorably.)
NetworkError:  Well...  That really depends on a great many things.  You ready for a long answer?  ..  Don't roll your eyes like that.  I'll try to be quick.
Interviewer:  Ok.
NetworkError:  You see, that all depends on what skills your team already has accounted for.  If my entire skill set is already present in your team in one fashion or another, then I will contribute nothing new in the way of raw talent.  I will merely serve to strengthen the existing frame work your team has in place.  (Pause Looking Very Reflective.  It's hard to do when you're not made out of glass.)
Interviewer:  mm hmmm..  Go on.
NetworkError:  But...  If your team is coming up short planning the software life cycle effectively, I will probably be able to strengthen them greatly in that area.  If your team is having trouble testing a products feature set over a large scale networked environment, I'll probably be able to help them get a more suitable test lab set up to cover that.  If your team's documentation is lacking, I'm your man.  If you're team loves coffee, but is plagued by really crappy coffee, then you're just out of luck, my friend.  I can't make coffee.
Interviewer:  I see.  Um...  We'll be in touch.  Thank you for your time.
NetworkError:  Oh...  I see how it is...  You gota know how to make friggin' coffee to get on here!?  That's bloody racism!  ...  Well..  Not quite, but it's a close cousin to bloody racism!
Interviewer:  Are you finished?
NetworkError:  Not quite...  Could I..  um..  have one of those company calendars you give out?  They're just really keen looking.

You know.  I really hate that question.  I despise it.  Let's hit it again, Sam.

Interviewer:  And what do you think you would be your biggest contribution to our team if we hire you?
NetworkError:  Well...  I'm blessed with this uncanny ability.  Historically it has been referred to as 'Multiple Personality Disorder'.
Interviewer:  (Very blank look.)
NetworkError:  No no..  It's great.  You see, each of my personalities have something special to offer.  And most of them have very good people skills.  Except for Jake.  You don't want to meet Jake.  He's, uh...  Grumpy.  But Timmy's very good.  He's a programmer with 6 years of experience in C++.  He's a workaholic, a bit unsocial, but man can he code!  And Jeremy.  I have never seen anybody with as much raw talent as Jeremy.  And he's tall to.  Great for reaching the top shelf.  Should have been a basketball player, but he's to uncoordinated.  But he can plan a project and predict completion dates with deadly accuracy.  He's also very social.  You'd like him.  I'll introduce you some time.  And Marla...  She makes good cookies.  I'll have to bring some in some time.  And there's others.  I've practically got my own software development company in my head.  What you need, I've got.  Is that a bargain or what?

In the words of the TelleTubies...  "'gain!  again again!"  One last time.

Interviewer:  And what do you think you would be your biggest contribution to our team if we hire you?
NetworkError:  Team!?!  I don't play well with others!

Answers to "Why did you leave your last job?"

1. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
2. Things just weren't the same after the abduction...  err...  acquisition.  Yeah..  Acquisition...  That's the Ticket.
3. I was...  uh...  to good.  Everyone felt threatened.  Like I would steel their job or something.  But...  You know, uh...  All I was steeling was office equipment.  I really wasn't a threat. 
4. Well...  I used to work for KFC...  and I HATED THE COLONEL!  WITH THOSE WEE BEADY EYES AND THAT SMUG LOOK ON HIS FACE!  "OH YOU'RE GOING TO BUY MY CHICKEN OOOOHHH!"
5. I might ask you the same thing, my friend!
6. Being a hit man wasn't paying like it used to.  The industry just kind of dried up, you know?  It was all the economy.  The stock market and things like that...  I'm telling you, we're heading for a recession.
7. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US !!

Ok...  Some of those were lame.  I'm going call it quits there for now.  I'll add to this later.

  -NetworkError

SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB !!